Torn into pieces (Jake)

Subject: Torn into pieces (Jake) Sat Jul 05, 2014 4:53 pm

Dear Jake,

14th February, 2013

First and foremost, I apologize for this note. I'm sure there are a thousand better ways to say this but not really. I fear saying it in person may break you and myself even further beyond repair than conceivably possible. Of course for you, that's metaphorically speaking.

I tried Jake, I really, really did. I wanted to go on like nothing had happened, had almost convinced myself that I could ignore the huge gaping hole inside me, fill it with ordinary distractions of day to day. But I can't. I can't just pretend that our relationship hasn't become fundamentally flawed and all because of me. It kills me everyday, so much that I wish it would just finish me of in one fell swoop instead of these daily bouts of self depreciation and the realization that I'm dragging you down with me.

But you were not made to be dragged down, you're here to soar the skies and get the best of everything, and that no longer includes me. In a way, I always knew this would happen, I just never imagined it would be me leaving and not you. But rest in the knowledge that I wish the best for you in life. I know its going to hurt at first, I know you'll probably despise me for causing you so much pain, but after all that there will be... something better.

I'm heading back home to Carmel, at least until I finish up the year at my jobs. Afterwords, I think I'm... But that's not important. I've left my keys on the table as I won't be needing them any longer. Everything else of yours is hung neatly in your closet. There's food in the fridge for the next few days and...

Thank you for trying, please know that this came to pass through no fault of your own. Fate has had a thing for me for a while now and these last few years I almost managed to forget that but with the sharp realization, I have no choice but to extricate myself from the situation.

I have one last request of you though I fully realize I'm in no position to make requests but if you can find it in your heart to oblige, please don't attempt to contact me. Don't try to see me, don't write to me, if you see me at schools do not approach me. Its hard enough walking away once, another time might be too much for both of us. I'd say try and forget me but I doubt you could ever forget someone who caused you so much pain and suffering.

With all my heart I wish it could have ended better but I can no longer live the lie I've been living for the last few months. We've both changed and I can no longer be the cause of your sorrow. I could live with almost anything but knowing that I make you as unhappy as I've done these past few months.

I hope go you on to find every happiness in life.

Yours
Azalea

Guest

The Quidditch star had made a special effort this Valentine's Day. Azalea and he had come through so much, and though they didn't do presents, Jake had brought small gifts which were perishable. A bunch of assorted flowers, a bottle of expensive wine, a box of chocolates and some romantic comedy film that the store had said would be fantastic for couples. It wasn't much, but it was enough to show Azalea he cared.

Opening the door to their flat, Jake noted the darkened room despite the hour and frowned slightly to himself. Azalea should have been back by now, even though they hadn't specifically said they'd spend Valentine's Day together, Jake had checked their pin board and there weren't any appointments on there. "Azalea?" The young man called out, but no reply came.

Moving in to the kitchen, Jake put the gifts down on the table, almost missing the sign of Azalea's set of keys. This was really... The note on the table made Jake pause as he absently reached to the key ring that was identical to his own. But slowly, his hand moved to the note as his other drew out the chair for him to sit in to.

Opening the paper that had been so neatly folded, Jake read slowly.

The ex-Belladonna would have liked to have pretended that this was a surprise as he read, but somewhere deep down he'd known that Azalea was hurting. He'd known he hadn't done enough to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. But the carefully crafted words on the page before him showed that not for a second had he succeeded in making her happy. Happy enough to stay with him despite everything going on around them.

The tears slid slowly down Jake's face as he read the final words. It was clear that he was not supposed to do anything, and he wouldn't. Because it was the love that he held for the witch, and likely always would be a part of him, that respected her wishes. It would be difficult, seeing her around the schools they both taught at and not being able to go to her, but Jake knew that perhaps this was for the best. She would have time to relax, come to terms with the news and hopefully become happy once more. Maybe not with him, maybe not with someone else, but with herself was what Jake hoped for.

It was hours that Jake sat in the darkening flat, reading through the letter and letting the tears roll down his cheeks. Silent but ever present. For a while he would be disappointed in her for picking today of all days, but in time he would realise why it had to be that day.

***

As the sun stretched through the blinds of the kitchen, Jake blinked awake. He'd slumped in to the table in a manner that said he had exhausted himself in to sleep the night before in a sitting position. Everything was exactly how he'd left it the night before, and without looking at the letter again, Jake stood from his chair and moved in to the living room. A quick douse of Floo Powder opened the network to Alan's private residence where he sat eating his breakfast. He jumped slightly, before smiling down at Jake and moving to his own hearth.

"You look awful, Jake, is eve-"

"Please don't ask questions, Alan." Jake replied, cutting the man off. He wasn't in the mood to talk. Throwing the spare set of keys in to the fire, Jake paused. "I'm packing up the things I need from my flat and heading back home. Can you see that everything left in the flat is sold, and then put it on the market." He told his agent, keeping it purely business. Everything left would go. No reminders of Azalea, no looking at things that they had shared. It was brash, it was quick, but Jake didn't want to be somewhere he'd thought he'd be sharing with someone for some time.

"As you wish, Jake. I'll forward all correspondence on to your parent's address. See you at training later?" The man asked, eyeing Jake nervously.

"I'll see you later, and Alan, not a word to the boys." Jake added, before getting up and heading to his bedroom. Taking out his sports bag, Jake packed it with the essentials. He packed nothing of meaning, nothing that could remind him of the witch who had left him. If she wanted to leave without directly telling him, there was no point in keeping her things.

It was shortly after ten o'clock on the fifteenth of February that Jake left the flat he'd called home for the last few years.

And never would he look back.

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