Help for Thana? (PT 1)

After miserably failing her first DADA lesson, Thana quickly ran out of the room leaving everyone behind. As well as a piece of paper with one of her drawings on it, not that she noticed. She went back to her dorm which she had to herself and cried with humiliation.
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/176/b/f/voldemort_charcoal_drawing_by_sampl3dbeans-d53lxqb.jpg


Dementor, Dementor, Better lock your door, Don't worry they will love you, its what being evil is for the song ran through her head over and over. She had heard it as a child, one of the death eaters used to mock her with it.

Thana hated herself for not being strong enough to conquer the Dementor, but she had spent several years locked up in Azkaban. Being only a child it hurt her, she didn't fear them she just couldn't conquer them.

Tentatively Thana thought about her options, she couldn't fail this year. Not with all the classes she was taking, she needed to keep her grades up. She thought of asking Professor Jake, and decided to go ask him.

She walked down to the DADA classroom, hoping Professor would be there it was a Monday after all. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Come in a voice called from the other side of the door , Thana opened the door and walked in. Noticing that the classroom was lighter than usual. March was here, so was warmer weather. It was different to Thana, she grew up in Australia as a child so she was used to that climate. A hot winter, and a cold March.

Thana noticed Professor Jake at his desk, good it meant he was here . Obviously . " Hello Professor" Thana said, " Is this a bad time because I can come back later" she offered seeing he had been marking someone's assignment. " Oh and good job on the weekend" she complimented, she had heard that Professor Jake had done a really long game.

Take a seat" Professor Jake said, Thana did. She sat elegantly and purposely, as she had been taught her whole life. Upon being asked what he could do, Thana thought carefully before starting.


"Well two things possibly Professor, one I think I may of left a book here last lesson. And two, I think everybody noticed I failed with the dementor" she said to the Professor, unlike some girls she knew she didn't think of him as anything but her Professor, she knew he was a famous guy or something but didn't really care, he didnt play for the Irish.

"I found this, but I don't know who it belongs to. Not that I've looked. Is it yours?" Professor Jake asked, pulling her book out. " Yes it is, it has a small inscription on the back. "Latevous monstranos" in good lettering" Thana said, giving a description of the back of the book in case Professor Jake wanted to make sure it was hers.

As the Professor told her he hadn't done it his first to either Thana nodded appreciatively. " I would like to be able to do a patronus" she agreed, " so if you can help it would be much appreciated" Thana told Professor Jake

"What's your happy thought?" Professor Jake asked, Thana sat there, quiet. The problem wasn't the dementor itself, not really. No when Thana looked inside herself, the problem was she didn't have a happy memory.

" I think I know what the problem is Professor" Thana said, looking awkward, she was to ashamed to go any further. Instead she just looked out the window, now wishing she was somewhere else.

Thana looked out of the window, her mind a million miles away. Right now she wished she was anyone but here. "Was the memories your problem, Thana?".   Professor Jake asked, Thana looked back at her Professor, she owed him that respect.

" Don't think of me as weak Professor, for I am many things but weak isnt one of them." Thana told him , "My memories have never been ones I enjoyed, they were either horrific, terrible or simply didnt matter.. My family didnt believe in emotions, the only one I ever strived on was anger" She said to her Professor.

Thana listened as the Professor went on, telling her she wasn't weak and that perhaps she could have some happy memories now. Thana let him talk, doubting very much there would be much for her to be happy about, even now.

Thana thought for a while, what did she have at Hogwarts ? "To be honest Professor I'm only here because I don't have a choice" Thana told him, " there's not really a lot to go for, school , sleep, school, sleep" She answered to the Professor.

."What about the people here? Your friends? The opportunities you get? You're on the Quidditch team, right? How about the feelings that come with that?"     Professor Jake asked, Thana smiled inwardly to herself. She wasn't one for friends, not really. There were people she could tolerate more than others, but no actual friends or so she thought.

As for quidditch, that was more a necessity to Thana, " The only reason I signed up for the quidditch team was to get Professor Lucas off my back, he like most  people here has a problem that I was happiest alone without anyone to annoy me because I have a habit of not liking ..... living things for company" Thana told the Professor, it was true. Her favourite place was often cemeteries, or animals that couldn't talk to her.

"I am sorry I don't mean to sound rude, but.. Happiness is t an emotion I have experienced" Thana apologised, she didn't mean to sound like a..well like a bitch. " For my whole life I was taught emotions were weaknesses, friends were a weakness and enjoyment in doing things were pointless"

To be honest Thana didn't know how she felt anymore. About anything really, she had just found out about her parents. Then she had received her inheritance then found out she was a pure blood.

"To be honest Professor I don't know, I honestly don't . Little things mean a lot to me now, things that didn't before. I ... There are a few people I have started to appreciate, people I like talking to." Thana replied, this was difficult for her. This area of talking wasn't one Thana was used to.

Thana listened as Professor Jake said it was good that there were a few things she liked, then asked what they were. She couldn't help it, a ghost of a smile touched her lips. There were a few things she had done that she found nice.

Thana thought about what she had done, she had showed her ability to Skye made a companion out of him. Started to train Tess in Waterbending, bought a castle that she was turning into a Library and Lolly shop all for Lolly Lou. Let alone how often she snuck out to go and visit people, either in the Forbidden Forest or at a few places she knew.

"Sir if I told you I doubt you would believe me." Thana said to Professor Jake, she didn't care about the rules that she had broken. She cared that it wasn't well known where she went.

"You give me the benefit of the doubt, and I'll do the same to you. Besides, I can only help you if I have something to work with. A closed book is helpful to nobody, wouldn't you say?" Professor Jake replied to Thana, she didn't know what to say. She thought carefully, how much was she willing to admit to?

Thana thought hard, her eyebrows furrowing. "I think......my favourite thing to do..." she started, she didn't want to continue. Thana doubted if Professor Jake would believe her anyway. "My favourite thing to do is run with the .... Wolves...the Werewolves.'' Thana told him, subconsciously scratching her arm.

"So, as your favourite thing to do, lets see if we can find a strong positive memory in there that you could use. It doesn't have to be big, or important, just strong memory. Does anything spring to mind?"

She thought hard, she found a memory..But there was another problem..One she wasn't ready to admit to. Only one Death Eater had been able to conjur a Patronus, Severus Snape. Thana wondered if it was even possible for her to be able to create one.

"Professor...I have one..I think..It's not happy as such...But it's a really strong one..The strongest emotion I have felt" Thana told Professor Jake. She hoped it would be enough..But she still had her doubts.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me what it is, how about you try to cast using that memory?"

Thana just looked, this wasn't going to be easy. She knew that much, but she still wanted to give it a go. "Okay Professor" she said getting up. It wasn't exactly a happy memory, quite the opposite. But it was a strong one, one that she felt.

Thana got up and pulled out her wand, she knew the spell needed. She focused on the memory. Letting it overflow her. Expecto Patronum! she said, casting the spell once she was ready. Once again she tried. She really did. But once again got nowhere.

Not even a flicker came out of her wand, no spark no...well nothing. She kept trying for a few minutes, knowing in her heart that it wasn't going to work. She stopped the spell, knowing that she had failed. Yet again.