The truth comes out (Thaza closed)

Thana had a stressful week, between school and getting her new identity finalised, she needed some alone time. Unfortunately, it was rare to find alone time in Hogwarts. So Thana had a thought, she would go where not many people would be. The Greenhouses, she took her bag and walked to one. They usually had class here, she went in and sat down. Near some beautiful but deadly plants, she was well hidden from the outside.

Thana pulled out her sketchbook and started drawing. She sketched what she saw, the greenhouse, the plants, even the small insects that were there. She was lost in her own world, all her thoughts from the week finally starting to settle down. She had failed miserably in DaDA, helped Louise, and was still conversing with the Ministry. She had to send letters back and forth, signatures, everything. Thana needed this time, this was her special thing she did. Sketching, she wasn't good at talking. So she sketched her thoughts, she had already sketched her failing in DaDA, amongst other things. She was happily sketching some flowering plants. Not noticing that she had started softly singing to herself.

Thana heard the witch behind her, before quickly slamming her book shut. "Ah..thanks" she said awkardly. She noticed it was Professor Aza, "Hey ah Professor" Thana said, Professor Azalea was a nice professor, in her opinion, always helpful. Her class was one of the few interesting ones she had, at least she made her class informative. "Sorry, I don't know if I'm allowed here or not...I just wanted some space" Thana said to the Professor. Hoping she wouldn't mind.

"And don't worry about permission, my greenhouse is always open to students. Isn't it a saying in this school, help will always be given to those who ask for it," Thana heard her Professor say, noting she took a seat next to her. "Thanks Professor" she said, before listening to Professor Azalea's next question. "Is everything alright," She was asked, Thana thought for a while before answering. "Professor, everything a student tells their teacher remains confidential...Doesn't it?" she asked Professor Aza,

Thana really wanted to talk to someone right now, to confide in them..Someone who could help her make sense of everything. But most of all, she wanted to be able to trust someone, Sure she had Lucas...But he didn't always understand, he was a male.. Thana needed a female she could talk with right now, someone who would understand and who would be able to keep her secret. Without even thinking about it, she touched her mark on her left arm through the layers of clothing she wore. There were many secrets that Thana hid underneath her many layers of clothing, and there was one that she could never admit to. She had tattoo's yes, of course she didn't tell anyone about them, but she had them. But this mark, this was one she could tell anyone, not even if she wanted to.

And Thana desperately wanted to tell someone, to confide in them. She had many secrets, and she wanted to have someone who she could trust. She hoped it would be Professor Aza, she liked Professor Aza. She liked her classes, at least Professor Aza made them interesting. At times Thana would get sick of having a memory like hers, she liked hands on options, and Professor Aza often gave her that chance.

Thana felt better by being reassured that Professor Aza wouldn't tell anyone. It didn't make her choice any easier. "Professor, I am not sure where to start...I never tell people my problems" Thana said to her, "If you haven't noticed..I'm not exactly like the other students...and that's coming from the magic world.." she told her Professor. Fidgeting awkwardly with a pencil. She had always been good at pen tricks, having had nothing else to do in Azkaban. She would practice for hours, even days on end. She didn't even think about it anymore. Thana changed her body language then, she leant over and grabbed her bag. "Professor I cant...explain with words...So I draw..It would be the easiest way to explain.." Thana said, pulling out books, all filled with drawings.

She hoped that the Professor would be able to understand them. They told her story, of Azkaban, of her being a death eater. Of her life, her parents deaths. She drew what she saw, all pictures capturing in explicit detail her memories. They were all realistic, anatomically correct. She gently handed over her books to her Professor. "This is why I miserably failed at Professor Jake's class. Why I can't do a patronus..." She explained. She then looked down awkwardly, she got embarrassed about being so open all of a sudden. She suddenly wanted to leave, but she didn't want to at the same time.

Thana watched as Profesor Aza went through one of her books, looking, clearly understanding what was in the book. She understood her past, Thana looked down as the Professor came to her final drawing. Her Dark Mark.   "Oh sweetie, come here" Thana heard the Professor say, opening her arms to her. Thana shook her head, "I don't touch people" she said honestly. Besides, she had never hugged people it wasn't her thing. She just fidgeted with her hands and her pencil. "My father made sure that when I touched people I hurt them" she told the Professor. "So I don't want to hurt you"

Her Father was Voldemort, the Dark Lord. They had no blood relation, but he adopted her and became her whole family after her murdered hers. He forced her to watch people being killed, and made her kill. She hated it, but it was what she had to do. Her Father trained her to be a killer, both in the Dark Arts and with her hands. She could kill a person like she could snap a twig. Her Father abused her Isolde, making her use it as a destructive force rather than a healing one. When she was awoken after fourteen years she was told that Voldemort had been killed, she didn't cry. She didn't feel anything, she thought that the Ministry was going to kill her too, but they didn't. They offered her a new life, a new identity. All they wanted was to know about her gifts, gifts she still couldn't explain, through time, she hoped she would be able to explain and understand them. "This is why I am away a few days a week..And..and why I failed Professor Jake's class..I can't produce a Patronus..I don't have any happy memories" she told Professor Aza.

"I think you would never hurt me, and I find that when it gets so hard that you don't have faith in yourself, it really helps when other people have faith in you." Thana heard Aza say, she noticed that she was comfortable around Thana. Thana wished she could be the same, She carefully and almost..hesitantly touched Professor Aza. Awkwardly and still hesitantly hugging her, enjoying the physical touch of someone. She hadn't had the for a very long time, "Thankyou Professor" she said to Professor Aza. "Thankyou for understanding..." she held back tears, she hadn't hugged in a long time.

"Anytime you need a hug, you can come down here. You're always welcome to the greenhouse and as many hugs and chocolate wands as you like," Professor Aza offered, still holding Thana. Thana gently broke away, "Thanks Professor, but I can't take you up on the chocolate offer, not only am I a health freak...I'm also a diabetic" she explained. "That's why when I failed Professor Jake's class..I didn't eat the chocolate" Thana moved against the wall, it was more comfortable for her. "Professor, you must think I am a terrible student," she said, almost smiling. "I mean..I must be the worse you have ever had so far, I apologize if I wander off or go blank. I do know what you are teaching" she promised her Professor.

"I couldn't do anything with a wand and I felt so useless just standing in class, lesson after lesson internally yelling at my wand to do something. Until my teacher pulled me aside and told me my magic was different, that just because everyone else did it with a wand didn't mean I had to do it as well."
Professor Aza told Thana, she just laughed softly. "I don't need a wand to do magic" she blurted out by accident. Oh well, it was too late now. "It's not that I am bad at DADA, I've just always been on the wrong side of it, did you want some celery?" Thana asked, pulling out a lunchbox with sticks of celery and a tub of Vegemite. She offered it to Professor Aza.

"You can make friends, you can do good, you can do everything you always wanted away from your older influences," Professor Aza told Thana, Thana didn't agree entirely. "Not exactly Professor, the Ministry keeps a firm eye on me, they make sure I check in at least twice a week, and I have to go do tests when they want it" she accidently blurted out. She hadn't meant to tell the Professor what went on when Thana visited the Ministry. "But at least I get to finally come to Hogwarts, even if I did miss the younger years, Professor Lucas helps a lot as well" she said, happily eating her celery and vegemite.

"I'd say keep focus on the things that relax and make you happy and soon, you'll find being at peace isn't such a chore," Thana heard Professor Aza say, Thana just nodded. "I know Professor, that's what I really want" she said. Thana looked at her watch, it was rather late, way past curfew.

"Well it's way past curfew, and I am going to need some sleep, so goodnight Professor...And thankyou..for everything" Thana said, getting up easily and gathering her things. "Thankyou for...understanding, I'll see you next class!" she told Professor Aza, cleaning up quickly and walking out. Thana felt better now that someone knew her secret, someone other than Lucas.